Finding Faith ... in a school fundraising pitch

So, you may have heard that the world is a little askew right now. And not much is the same. ... Well, I hope this isn't news to you, at least.

Well, why should it be any different for school fundraising? ... It seems logical that the time-honored tradition of school parents groveling to raise money on behalf of their children who think they need to participate in school activities has changed too. ... This ain't your grandfather's fundraising world any longer!

It used to be that you could kick your child out the front door, lock it behind them and shout through the glass that they couldn't come home until they had sold all of their coupon books/candy bars/magazines.

And, thankfully, that ploy worked for years for us. ... Our kindly neighbors would take one look at our down-in-the-dumps kids standing on their doorstep, and they would say, "Must be fundraising time: The Brooks/Heitman kids are locked out of the house again. ... Frank! ... Grab the checkbook. We have to pay for these poor kids to get back in their house again."

Well now, COVID has gone and messed that up too, as it has EVERYTHING else. ... It seems this year, the football kid (also known as "Carter" and pictured at left above. Isn't he handsome!) gets off easy. Evidently this year kicking the kids out of the house to peddle their fundraising goods on the street is frowned upon. ... The audacity.

And so the tables have turned, and the groveling this year has squarely landed on the parents' shoulders. This year's Moorhead Spuds Football fundraiser is a digital one. ... Surprise! Bet you didn't see that coming! ... And who has more social media contacts (a.k.a. "suckers") than the parents, am I right? ... And so guess who the coaches suggested do the groveling this year??? ... Ding! Ding! Ding! ... Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

So-o-o-o-o ... if in the last two minutes it's taken you to read this post I've amused you enough (as jesters did in the royal courts of ol') ... or if you just simply feel sorry for me because your children's fundraising days are in your review mirror ... or on the off chance you think that purchasing a national food and shopping discount app called "Rah Rah" was just what you needed today, then hit me up. ... I'll explain the directions as to how you obtain said app, and you can sleep well knowing that you've played your part in keeping high school football alive. ... Single-handedly. ... Look at you, you super hero!!!

No??? ... OK, what if I BEG??? ... Pretty please? Purchase a $25 app so that we get out of fundraising purgatory? ... I must have done something nice for you in the past. ... At least once!

Thank you from Carter and his desperate parents in advance!