Finding Faith ... in a trickster

Behind me is the altar on which our "Eternal Flame" sits.

My sister-in-law Teri and I are convinced that my brother Dan, who passed this summer at only 66 years old, is playing some good ones on us as of late.

Dan, who was always known as one who loved a good practical joke, seems to be injecting himself in the daily affairs of those he loves with a frivolity that only he could enjoy.

I should back up as I never did write about Dan's passing this summer. ... Frankly, I needed time to heal, and additionally this past six months dealing with the pandemic at both the church and our media start-up company has hardly given me much time to think about it.

But maybe it's all for the better ... as my brother seems to keep providing us a plethora of stories to keep his legacy alive.

The other night, I was walking the dogs and talking to Teri, and she shared with me that there have been some pretty humorous goings-on around their home of 27 years. And that members of her family reported some very Loki-ish happenings as well. ... Teri, of course, chalks them all up to Dan, who is likely telling us that he is doing well and that we need to continue laughing even though he's now waiting for us on the other side.

For instance, she tells of being in their beloved gardens with their grandson and the sprinkler cutting out with no warning, or getting stuck spraying in only a certain direction. But then as they neared the sprinkler to check it out, it inexplicably started to work just fine.

And there are other stories, of course.

Teri shared that her sister, a professional singer who performs for a church, sees pranksterish things happening at the church all the time, and she too is chalking them up to Dan's shenanigans.

And it was at that moment, a lightbulb went off in my own head. ... I think Dan didn't want to leave me out of the action either, and he's been visiting my church as well.

Since the pandemic hit with gusto in March, we have been producing our "live" worship services on Tuesday nights, and then uploading the recordings to both our church's YouTube and Facebook pages for playing on demand for parishioners if they missed the live service.

Well after last week's service concluded, the young man who has been faithfully acting as our main videographer since the beginning of the pandemic, informed me that the SD card (essentially the memory card) in the digital video camera we use was getting full, and that some of the older services had to be deleted to make room. So that night, before heading out, I grabbed the chip so that I could clean it up when I had the time at home.

That weekend, I plugged the chip into my laptop, and started going through each file on the chip because we record other things on the camera as well, and I didn't want to delete anything important. There were probably 20-some files on the chip, and interestingly three of them were named differently than the other files. All of the ones that were launched with the phone app that we use to control the camera were named similarly, and the time stamps all corresponded with when we would have been recording our live services.

But then there three others: All videos that were recorded in the month of August; all videos that were three or more hours in length; all videos that were not started with the phone app we use to control the camera; and, finally, all videos that took place at times that no one had a reason to be in the church. One being on a random weekday afternoon, and the other two starting in late evening and recording for hours into the night. ... One of the videos lasting more than five hours!

When I encountered the first such video, the one that took place in the afternoon, I admit I didn't think much of it. Sure, it was a random video, that someone playing with camera could have either accidentally or deliberately started and not turned off. I fast-forwarded through the video and didn't give it a second thought.

But then about a week later, I came across the second of the mysterious videos, and this one started recording well into the evening, hours after anyone would have even had reason to be in the church, and it lasted over three hours. I fast-forwarded through that one as well, and I have to admit that it gave me chills to watch our beautiful, old alter in the dimming evening light streaming in through the stained-glass windows. Eventually, the evening light fades away and the sanctuary becomes dark. ... And the only thing you see is the dim "Eternal Flame" quietly burning away on the altar. ... For two hours.

Well, by the time I made it through this second video, I admit that I was pretty creeped out. I was a bit apprehensive of watching the third video that also started in late evening, but this time ran for nearly six hours. My imagination was running wild, and there was a part of me thinking, "What if I see the Holy Spirit move?" ... Or "What if I see something in the video that I can't explain?" ... Yikes!

Eventually, my brain kicked and was like, "Stop being silly. Just fast-forward through the video to see if you can get any clues as to why this is happening." ... And feeling a little childish, I hit the fast forward button.

Well ... no Holy Spirit. ... Nothing I couldn't explain happened, at least not that I could see in fast forward mode. ... But again I have to admit that I got chills watching the "Eternal Flame" burn away. ... It was mesmerizing and beautiful. ... And ultimately I saved the last video.

Some day when I have time, I am going to go back and watch the entire video. Maybe not in real time, but a good portion of it, as I want to recapture that feeling from the first time I saw that insistent flame burning through the night in our beloved Sanctuary.

Well, that night, while walking the dogs and talking to Teri, it dawned on me that it has to be Dan who is playing the role as surprise videographer when no one else is there. ... It fits as the mysterious recordings didn't start until after Dan's funeral, and they had never happened before.

Oh, I know that we play all kinds of mind tricks on ourselves to make us feel better about things we can't explain. But this one I am convinced of. ... I truly believe that Dan is talking to me and cheering me on from the sidelines, while saying, "Thanks for checking in on my family." ... Love you, brother.

And I love you too ... Dan. ... Thank you for the good laugh ... at my expense!