Finding Faith ... in being the master of your own tongue

EDITOR'S NOTE: In October 2017 I began a new venture as a synodically authorized minister at Faith Lutheran Church in Wolverton, Minn. The ride over the past 2.5 years has been an amazing journey of learning, growing and a deepening of my theological mind. This sermon took place on Sept. 16, 2017.

So raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this saying: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but … … names will never hurt me. … Ok, you don’t really have to raise your hands. I think we know nearly everyone here has heard that childhood saying. … Probably even most of the children too.

But, what’s wrong with that saying? … You all know. … Don’t be shy. … What’s wrong with it is … that we all know absolutely and for certain that names actually do hurt us. … But not just names, any malicious or hateful -- or even garden variety mean speech, in general -- hurts us. … And often it hurts us far more deeply and for longer periods of time than just a plain, old physical hurt.

Now I know that this might seem like a weird topic coming out of a pastor’s mouth. It might seem more fitting for a Sunday school room, or an elementary class. … But today’s Second Reading from James is all about this topic: His address to us is about how faithful Christians should speak to one another. … And it goes so much farther than the elementary principle of the Golden Rule. James is actually writing about a biblical principle.

And that biblical principle is that if each of us is made in the own image of our God, then when you defile another with your own words, you are are also defiling our God. … Not a kiddish idea any longer, is it?

Now, I know that many who would consider themselves of the old school might issue a hearty pa-shaaa to this notion. ... What a silly topic for a preacher to be addressing. … They even might chalk up a sermon such as this to some new-fangled, touchy-touchy sentimentalism.

But the fact of life is that our words DO matter, and this is the very point that James is making in his letter from which we read today. … Sure, the early half of his letter seemingly points his fingers directly at teachers, but what’s not apparent is that he’s using those in the teaching profession as a metaphor for all of us, all of us who profess to be Christians.

I won’t go too deeply into a history lesson here, but in the first century, Greek teachers would have held class out in the public, their pupils scattered about them on benches or the ground. … But in addition, anyone in the public as a passersby also would have been able to hear the teacher. And so James is making the point that it wouldn’t have been prudent for a teacher to be speaking incorrectly … or harshly … for all to hear.

So, what he’s telling us is that based on our own speech many of us wouldn’t have been good teachers in the first century … or even now.

Just take a look around at today’s political and social discourse and you don’t have to look very far for an example of someone who doesn’t watch their tongue. It seems the notion of being kind to one another is out of fashion. … Quite out of fashion.

But mind you, James is not only writing to the political types and other leaders of his day. … He’s writing to all Christians, leaders or not. He’s writing to you and I. … Because how we treat each other matters. And more specifically, how we talk to one another … matters.

James knew it thousands of years ago, and he warns us against the evil that our tongue can produce. And yet, somehow today, we think it to be a silly notion. We think we’re entitled to our right to harsh words … or to put someone in their place … or to forcefully correct all those who disagree with us. … We’re convinced that some people just need to hear the hard truth. Or others are just too sensitive. Or the world has gone soft.

And the fact of the matter is those people couldn’t be more wrong.

Nowhere in our Bible are we given the license to verbally abuse anyone, a loved one or stranger. .. Or political foe. ... Or the driver that cuts you off. ... Or the coworker who is “lazy.” … The list goes on.

Humbling isn’t it? … I know that when I studied this passage this week, it put me to the test. Because, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is rude people. Nothing gets my blood boiling more than rudeness, and yet, despite James’ admonishment here in this passage, I am completely aware of how my tongue wags after I encounter rudeness.

… And for no good reason. Right? … I mean, if you think about it, what am I going to fix by letting some choice words fly about some rudeness I’ve just encountered? … Nothing, but possibly even more hurt feelings.

Again, this is the point where some will close their ears because they’ve heard just about enough of this nonsense. … But James tries to get us to take it seriously by comparing our tongues to a forest fire or to poison … or worse yet, to poison.

He writes: “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Proving James’ point, in recent decades, there has been tons of research into the effects of harsh speech, and the simple fact is that none of the findings are pleasant.

In fact, did you know that scientists have found that the circuitry for physical and emotional pain appears to be the same. … And so when you recoil at those harsh words someone spoke to you by someone, you literally are feeling the same pain as if someone would have just smacked you in the nose instead. … So, yes, harsh and negative words hurt. … It’s no laughing matter.

And if that isn’t enough to scare you, then consider this: Scientists have also discovered that verbal aggression literally changes the structure of a child’s developing brain. This means that those harsh words our kids are hearing can literally change who they are and affect their future potential. … And so what often times is just passed off as a tough parent, or someone who wants to raise their children right, quite literally they are harming children. … But, yet, in some corners, those actions are still praised as talking tough or standing for something.

And if those two facts didn’t alarm you, then consider this: The effect of verbal aggression is greater than the expression of love. … Let that sink in for a moment.

What this means is that let’s say someone is mean to your child at school, and then they come home to you for some kind words. We like to believe that as parents we can make it all better. … But in reality, in our brains our kind words do not have the equal weight to cancel out the negative words spoken to them at school.

Or put another way, the negative words you speak to someone cannot just be canceled out by following up with a kind comment. … Yes, it’s a start, and I don’t want to belittle the importance of apologizing, but the negative or harsh comment still leaves a residual effect on the one harmed even after you’ve tried to rectify it.

And lastly, verbal aggression and abuse are internalized, which means that we as humans take each of those negative comments, those harsh criticisms … all of those unkind words ... and we harbor them deep inside of us. And little by little they each add up to chip away at the very people we are. And, so, those who are constantly verbally abused become less certain of themselves, and frankly eventually lose their identity that God had intended. Their spirits are broken, and their likelihood of repeating the abusive cycle is off the charts.

Words matter my friends, and James is telling us so here in this week’s Second Reading. He’s telling us to be mindful of our tongues as they can be more destructive than any other force on earth. … In fact, he even warns us that “the tongue has the capability of destroying one’s religious practice and that of one’s community.” … Consider that for a moment, if you think this is a laughing matter.

I chose this passage this week because I thought it was a good time to remind our children of the importance of what our words mean, and to help them understand how Christians are supposed to treat others. … And then as the week passed, I realized that we adults sitting here today do not get a pass. … James’ message is focused directly on us as “teachers.” … And the message is simple: Hold your tongue. And remember that the words you speak carry monumental weight, and can damage someone for a lifetime.

In some ways this seems so elementary, right? … So, should we really need to be discussing in church how to speak to one another? … Well, yes, we do. Because it’s not just about being kind. It’s about being biblical.

So this week, I challenge you to go forth, and be kind, especially in your words. … Be mindful of your words, as you are actually the master of your tongue, even though we like to believe that isn’t the case. … Choose your words carefully, and then you’ll be reflecting Christ’s light in you.

And that is the Good News for this week. … Amen.