Finding Faith ... in the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living

EDITOR'S NOTE: In October 2017 I began a new venture as a synodically authorized minister at Faith Lutheran Church in Wolverton, Minn. The ride over the past 2.5 years has been an amazing journey of learning, growing and the deepening of my theological mind. This sermon originally took place on March 17, 2019.

The trouble with being the pastor in your family is that … there is a tendency you become the pastor TO the family. .. And then your family begins to think that you have this whole faith thing figured out.

That was the realization that struck me this week when I received the dreaded call.

Many of you are aware of the tough year our family went through last year, with my mother’s surgery, and my brother’s hip surgery and my oldest brother’s esophageal cancer. … It was an emotional and challenging run, but for the most part, they are all healing nicely, even if my oldest brother isn’t out of the woods yet.

So, I don’t think it was unreasonable to think that our family might see some peace for a while. … But as you know, this earthly existence of ours doesn’t always believe in balancing out the cosmic scales.

And so, I was devastated last Sunday night when my sister, Laurie, called to tell me that our other sister’s husband, Dave, has been diagnosed with cancer. … A very serious cancer that has metastasized to his liver.

A few days later, Laurie called me again. … The news was worse: Dave had went back in for a follow-up visit, and they found cancer in his esophagus, a condition that had been there for quite some time. ... The doctors figure that’s where the cancer began, and later spread to the liver.

The short of it is: The news isn’t good. ... Dave is no longer working; he’s too sick. … Too sick to do much of anything, in fact. … On top of the agony of Dave’s illness, my sister’s family’s finances are drying up. ... And, finally, they are trying to manage a brave face for their children and grandchildren.

And so that is the backdrop to my phone call to my sister, Deb, on Friday night. … Setting aside the fact that I am a pastor, many of you also know how useless you feel when you’re trying to help a loved one through difficult times.

For crying out loud, this is my big sister and my brother-in-law. … When I was young, I would spend summers at their farm in Michigan just to give my single mom a bit of a reprieve. … As faithful of a couple that you will ever find. … And now this. … A cruel earthly slap in the face.

As I began dialing my sister on Friday night, I couldn’t help but think about this week’s sermon preparation. ... After all, if you remember this week’s scriptures, one of the central themes in the Old Testament scripture in Genesis is Abraham’s faith. ... From Verse 6: “And he believed the Lord; and the Lord reckoned it to him as righteousness.”

But, I thought as the phone rang, “A lot of good that means to my sister right now. … It’s great that Abraham’s faith was restored and the Lord multiplied his abundance, but what is my sister supposed to make of that right now?”

It’s at this point that I must be transparent with you: I dearly love being a pastor, your pastor. … But sometimes, justified or not, the pressure I feel to have this faith thing completely figured out is staggering.

After all, I struggle with the same questions and doubts you do, just as my sister does. … But I’m afraid to share that with you because I don’t want you to lose faith in me. … I suspect that’s a universal feeling for pastors. … At least I hope it is.

So, after a very emotional 30-minute call with my sister, I did again what I often do when I feel challenged to wring something out of these texts that help shape and give our faith meaning.

I went back to this week’s text and gave it all I had: I gave up my grief to the words. ... I gave up my anger to them. … I gave up my feeling of helplessness as well. … And that’s when the texts started speaking to me.

That’s when I noticed other aspects of the passage. … Such as Genesis 15:1-3: “1 After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, “Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” 2 But Abram said, “O Lord God, what will you give me, for I continue childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?” 3 And Abram said, “You have given me no offspring, and so a slave born in my house is to be my heir.”

And in that verse I realized that Abraham was taking his grief straight to the Lord, unfiltered … unabashedly shaking his fist at God. … “God, you promised Sara and I so much, but yet we remain without a biological heir. I blame you for this!” … He doesn’t sugarcoat his complaint to God.

And what does God do. … Does he respond in kind? Does he punish Abraham? … No. … He looks to Abraham and says “This man -- referring to Eliezer of Damascus -- This man shall not be your heir; no one but your very own issue shall be your heir.”

And then he brings Abraham outside into the night -- see any symbolism there? -- and he says, “Look toward heaven and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your descendants be.”

In my time of need, this passage reminded me of two important points. … First, God invites us to make our troubles his troubles. … No, in fact, he commands us to make our sufferings, his sufferings.

And second, this passage reminds me that God has a covenant with us. … And even though there are times when it is difficult for us to see, God is there with us and he will provide an over abundance to us. That is his promise to us.

Let’s talk about the first point, first.

This earthly life of ours is not easy. Ask anyone sitting next to you if they’ve had a cake walk in life. … We know that’s not the case. ... This earthly life is fragile, and we are reminded of the suffering nearly every day.

But the good news is that God knows this too. Always remember that he came to earth, walked in our shoes, and died an unjust and painful earthly death. … Our God is not some aloof master of puppets unacquainted with our pain. … No, he’s right there in the middle of it.

And so he gets it when our anger gets the better of us. And, he’s OK with that. … In fact, there are multiple passages throughout the scriptures in which God commands us to invite him into our troubles, to shake our fists at him.

So it is perfectly OK for us to look heavenward and shout, “God, you are complicit in my suffering! … Why do Sara and I not have the biological heir that you promised? … God, why is my sister faced with losing her husband? … Why does my brother-in-law have to say goodbye to his children and grandchildren so early? … A good and faithful man, whom has selflessly served so many. … Why cancer at all, God? … Why?”

This text reminds all of us that our God is big enough to take all of our emotions, whether they be sadness, grief … or yes, even anger.

But this text also reminds us that after the sadness, after the grief … and, yes, even after the anger, God is there to reaffirm his promise, to maintain his covenant with us.

In fact, he often will expand on his promise, come through with an over abundance that we could not in our wildest dreams imagine. … God pledges his whole self to the covenant he has with us.

Because even after Abraham shakes his fist at the Lord, and barks prettily angrily at him, what does God do? … He invites him outside and says, “I know I promised you an heir, and while you haven’t seen that heir yet, I am going to do you even better. … In fact, you are going to have so many heirs you won’t be able to count them. … ‘Look to the stars and so many descendants of yours will be.’”

And then God makes Abraham the father of the entire Christian faith -- the father of three faiths as a matter of fact, Christianity, Judaism and Islam.

God responded over and above what Abraham could lament about. … God responded with an overabundance that was breathtaking … unimaginable.

So, what is all of that supposed to mean to my sister, as she quickly watches her husband of three plus decades pass away in only his early 60s?

What is this passage of hope supposed to mean to anyone who has said goodbye to a loved one? … To anyone who has watched someone they love suffer? … To any of you who might be quietly suffering something unbearable that you haven’t shared with anyone else?

And my honest answer to my sister … to you … is … that I’m not certain. … I’m not certain how my sister -- how each of us -- is supposed to take God’s words of comfort and internalize them so that they prepare us for the worst of times this world has to offer us.

I suppose my job is only to remind you of God’s promise, and that I can’t help you with the internalizing part. … I suppose that is the stuff that faith is made of.

But in addition to reminding you of God’s promise that he will be there in the midst of your tragedies, I will point you to today’s Psalm:

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

 2 When evildoers close in against me to devour my flesh, they, my foes and my enemies, will stumble and fall.

 3 Though an army encamp against me, my heart will not fear. Though war rise up against me, my trust will not be shaken.

 4 One thing I ask of the Lord; one thing I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life; to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek God in the temple.

 5 For in the day of trouble God will give me shelter, hide me in the hidden places of the sanctuary, and raise me high up on a rock.

6 Even now my head is lifted up above my enemies who surround me. Therefore I will offer sacrifice in the sanctuary, sacrifices of rejoicing; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

 7 Hear my voice, O Lord, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me.

 8 My heart speaks your message— “Seek my face.” Your face, O Lord, I will seek.

 9 Hide not your face from me, turn not away from your servant in anger. Cast me not away—you have been my helper; forsake me not, O God of my salvation.

 10 Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me in.

 11 Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me on a level path, because of my oppressors.

 12 Subject me not to the will of my foes, for they rise up against me, false witnesses breathing violence.

 13 This I believe—that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

 14 Wait for the Lord and be strong. Take heart and wait for the Lord!

I don’t know who -- or what -- your enemies or oppressors are today. … But I know what Deb and Dave’s enemy is right now: It is cancer.

But thanks to today’s scriptures, I also know that they know that the Lord is their light and their salvation.

God makes it possible to face our fears in this world, even when it’s as dire as cancer. …

Today’s scriptures remind us that God makes it possible, even during the most difficult times to live on. … To remember that we all will dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our life, despite the whatever this early life has to throw at us.

And it is this news that I pray helps you believe that you WILL see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, as our Psalm states.

And that is the Good News this Sunday. … Amen.